1. |
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I want to respect the time that you haven’t communicated that you need
Away from me
So I chose to swim in the frozen lake of forgetting about you
So what I am I doing right now
I guess I’m boiling over
Biting my cracked nails on my way to absolutely nowhere
I’m crawling in circles on the tracks by the high school
A place I swore I’d never return to
My knees are bruised and still bleed
I didn’t need your help i just needed your honesty
‘Cause I can bandage myself up on my own
I hope that you can also respect the time that I haven’t communicated that I need
Away from you
Cause I’m singing my songs, breathing out smoke, lying on patches of clovers and daisies
Staring up into the mirror you call the night sky
As these mosquitoes eat me alive
Biting my cracked nails on my way to absolutely nowhere
I’m crawling in circles on the tracks by the high school
A place I swore I’d never return to
My knees are bruised and still bleed
I didn’t need your help i just needed your honesty
‘Cause I can bandage myself up on my own
x2
I want to respect the time that you haven’t communicated that you need
Away from me
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2. |
he never said no crows
04:14
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i’ve been tossing unsalted almonds all over the floor
to our friend, the crow that’s been knocking on our back door
Landlord said no pets but he never said no corvids
Landlord said no pets but he never said no crows
I proceeded to dry out like the Korean algae
that we ate for breakfast in this baking heat
And so we loosely got our shit together
and committed to leaving out icy water
For the hummingbirds and the bees
To thank them for their chaotic harmonies
(guitar)
So we danced to how nihilistic and miserable we had been feeling
About how we were youth navigating too many fucking things
And so we promised to ferment each other
in salty bodies of water
That’s how we watch each other grow
Fermenting each other to grow
(guitar)
I lay my duffel bag of a body on our littered bed
Thanks for helping me unpack
All the rotting garbage inside
I promise I will return this favour back
But I need to crawl back into my shell
And escape
Someone throw me like a rock back into the depths of the sea
Let me sink
I’ll return to the shore soon I’m sure
That’s how we’ll see that I’ve grown
Fermenting each other to grow
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3. |
peninsular
04:46
|
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My fists were ready to crack this concrete porch
But I’m breaking, shaking again and I’m melting down
Now my knuckles are so sore
And too bare
For this frozen air
But I keep going at it
Not gonna stop til I figure it out
I’m not gonna stop til figure it out
Cold proxy wars dividing families
I’m an impure diasporan, fighting overseas
For my friends deserve the land back
Then maybe we can sew our two halves back
Into anti-colonial anarchy
chorus
This new moon I’m gonna be more assertive
About my boundaries
I know I sing about that in like every song
But I need to be reminded all day long
We were jumping off burning bridges into the
lunar water
To be looked at and othered
By your own mother
unwrapping the plastic
that we come packaged in
chorus
How strange it is to name your identity
After dynasties and dynasties of patriarchal monarchies
I am of the land and the
lunar water
I’m peninsular
Of the insular ancestors
But the cold proxy wars are still dividing me
chorus
No I’m not gonna stop til I figure this out
I’m gonna fucking figure this shit out
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4. |
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Let this be a reminder
That I need to drink more water
I’m boiling ginger this morning
The ocean magic was on the rocks
As I put my bleached hair under
My flesh was catching fire
Am I still boring
Youuuuu x2
Now I rush out on a wet walk
As I leave a suffocating trail of smoke
Like ginger I fall still and soaked
As the clouds start to flood
I drink all my blood
The breeze is my blanket
But you can have it
Oooooooh x4
-I’m having a laugh with the sand
Stuck between my swollen toes
Licking salt off my numb hands
You know how I feel
You know how it goes
-I’m walking on sea shells
Collecting your favourite pebbles
Over-overstimulated, over-overwhelmed
I’m counting our freckles
I feel so renewwwwwwwwwed
Ooooooooh
Let this be a reminder
|
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5. |
blurry dimensions
04:47
|
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Cigarette butts and disposable masks
Streaming out of our garbage cans
A mountain range of containers and paper bags
Time sand slips through our sweaty hands
Is it a head rush or a dehydrated mind
Skating through blurry dimensions
with no oases of clarity to find
The answers to the statements i keep making
Tangled fingers, safety pins on sweater sleeves
Forgiving disappointed parents even though we know they’ll never see
We promised not to talk to cops
but we still flipped them off
We slept under constellations of cobwebs
We sat for hours by the hidden pond
and talked to the ducks
I think that they like us
You think that it was just
the tabs under our tongues
We told each other that we wanted to be
invisibly visible
So let’s be visibly invincible
But something immaterial
Imperceptible
To the Eurocentric cis gaze
Transcending your gaze
As I maintain my out of reach boundaries
I’m gulping down my anxieties
unplugging myself to disconnect
Leaving my signal messages on read
voicemails with my birth name unchecked
Torn apart by colonial borders and extractive projects
But I’m charging myself up to 100%
while making sure that I reflect
On what happened the past 4 seasons
Which feel like a million
|
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6. |
more about fermenting
02:00
|
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I’m not stale, I’m fermenting
I’ll taste even better as we age
They’ll share no words, cause most don’t listen
To the sage
Preserving zerself through debates
Tightly sealed, inside she’ll stay
Knowing to embrace the spices
and all the paste
I knew it was you when the flag was burning upside down
I’d recognise those fumes from continents away
I feel your message from the clouds
I see it in the shapes everyday
I’m not rotten, I’m fermenting
I’ll taste even better as we age
And I’ll trade my thoughts, for your understanding
Of the ways
|
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7. |
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I heard my ancestors
Singing the way
To the part of the Earth
That only they know
They’re who I am
Healing from the spirit world
Lit a candle, set some food aside
I got on my knees
I don't need saving
I need you to care
I don't need saving
I just need you right there
|
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8. |
warmth
03:41
|
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|
I would take my shoes off when I would walk in to your home
Keep my mask on my face, I was ready to run away
With my bare feet
New beginnings everyday
I would turn my shoulders into stone but I have grown
now I turn my back into liquid, I don’t want to run away
I’m trying to stay grounded
Tuning into my senses
I know the way that sounded
Would have seemed offensive
Warmth, I wanna be warm (x2)
with you
I would take my shoes off when I would walk in to your home
Keep my mask on my face, I was ready to run away
With my bare feet
Despite the blisters, I would flee
But I’m starting a new beginning today
|
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9. |
stranger
02:44
|
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|
wiping your nose
I felt a chill
as I felt the pleasure in your eyes
But it was your ghost
blocking out the sun
breathing in a funeral
for my reach too high
unlock the door
and pull up the blinds
i'll help you come out
pay it no mind
let me put out that fire between your fingers
when will you remember that i'm no stranger
sinkinginto the carpet
exploring the battlefields on your arms
i vividly see the memory of finding blood
i can't believe you made it so fucking far
so fucking far
and I'm so fucking proud
unlock the door
and pull up the blinds
i'll help you come out
pay it no mind
let me put out that fire between your fingers
when will you remember that i'm no stranger
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10. |
a reminder
03:10
|
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|
Let this be a reminder
That I need to drink more water
I’m boiling ginger this morning
The ocean magic was on the rocks
As I put my bleached hair under
My flesh was catching fire
Am I still boring
Youuuuu x2
Now I rush out on a wet walk
As I leave a suffocating trail of smoke
Like ginger I fall still and soaked
As the clouds start to flood
I drink all my blood
The breeze is my blanket
But you can have it
Oooooooh x2
I’m having a laugh with the sand
Stuck between my swollen toes
Licking salt off my numb hands
You know how I feel
You know how it goes
I’m walking on sea shells
Collecting your favourite pebbles
Over-overstimulated, over-overwhelmed
I’m counting our freckles
Oooooooh x2
|
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11. |
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|
my lungs blew up on my run to 7-eleven
to buy a pack of more lung explosives
i collapsed
but i stayed there
and i'm still crawling
i proceeded to make rain angels on the side walk
who put gochujang in my eyes
why does it matter what i look like
i'm having a time
MELT DOWN
gonna be gentle with myself
can you be gentle with yourself too
gonna be gentle with myself
can you be gentle with yourself too
we need to heal for the future generations
mmmmm
|
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SoyJoy Vancouver, British Columbia
they/them
tales of a dragon finding their way through the
universes
(2019-2023)
now going by June Hawthorn and releasing music at:
junehawthorn.bandcamp.com
alternate bandcamp:
juniper-lee.bandcamp.com
... more
SoyJoy recommends:
Cheaper Than Therapy
by No.1 Special
corvin's album! my album and theirs are siblings, they grew along side each other
go to album
ava's amazing songs you should check out
go to album
Best plan for your life
by Still Depths
im such a big fan of these folks
go to albumIf you like SoyJoy, you may also like:
feather river canyon blues
by pigeon pit
supported by 5 fans who also own “places i swore i'd never return to”
“it feels like survival just isn’t enough, is it?” i love this whole album so much <3
go to album
This City Isn't Big Enough
by Apes of the State
supported by 4 fans who also own “places i swore i'd never return to”
This is such a good album throughout!
go to album
Westward, to Nowhere
by Ian McCuen
This sweet, mournful “loose concept” album from folk artist Ian McCuen tracks a journey across the bleak landscape of American life.
go to album
